HUMP DAY HUNK with Demelza Carlton’s Luce Iblis
Welcome. Can you please state your name, in case anyone doesn’t recognise you?
I’m Luce Iblis, CEO of the HELL Corporation. Everyone knows me.
Now, you’re one of the supporting characters in Demelza Carlton’s Mel Goes to Hell series. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
I’m not sure why it’s called that. I mean, the whole series is about me. My exploits from when my corporation employs a new office angel.
Ah, okay. Can you tell me a bit about her?
Who, the new office temp? I haven’t seen much of her yet, but that will change. She had a musical name. Merry? No, Melody. She was unusual – not like most of the agency girls. They all come in dressed in white as if they’ve never done a bit of work in their lives. I spilled the cold dregs of my coffee on one of them once – her shriek was so loud, she might’ve woken the dead. I made it a point to be around when we interviewed new ones after that – it was fun to see their reactions when their perfect white shirt turned brown, wet and transparent.
What was Melody’s reaction?
Melody…see, she was different from the start. She had a white shirt, sure, but under a light brown suit. Kind of golden brown, like a macchiato. Like she wasn’t as pure as the others – already a little corrupted, if you know what I mean. Not afraid to get a bit dirty. And the tits on her? Damn, made you want to rip that jacket and shirt right off her so you could worship them properly.
Damn. What was your question again?
Ah, her reaction? When you spilled coffee on her?
Oh, right. Coffee. Well, I had a full cup that day and she ran into me at full tilt, just like I wanted. Knocked the coffee clean out of the cup, right into the air. I figured it’d be everywhere. I even got some on my shoes. Lili’s shoes were full of it – she was squelching around in them all day.
But Melody…Hell, she didn’t get a drop on her. As if the coffee wouldn’t dare to spoil that perfection. And she just smiled, shook my hand and left. That’s when I knew I had to have her.
I see. Mr Iblis, have you ever been in love? Or ever had your heart broken?
In love? You mean that animistic, pheromone-enhanced state where your body wants to sleep with someone so bad that it persuades your head that there is more than pure, unadulterated lust between you? Hell no. If I want to sleep with someone, I seduce them until we do. End of story.
Who’d want love? That would mean handing your emotions, your heart and soul to someone so they could one day reject you, screwing up your most precious parts and throwing them away like an empty eggshell, to be crushed and obliterated in the darkness of some landfill pit. Someone you once trusted and cared about, which is even more painful. Why would I ever subject myself to that sort of agony again?
So you have had your heart broken?
Of course not. I wouldn’t trust anyone with my heart.
Who would you say you’re closest to?
Right now, that’d be you. Would you like me to be closer?
Ah, no. That’s fine. What’s your favourite scent?
Why, so you can wear it later? In the morning, it’s coffee. But if you’re talking about what I like most, that would be a combination of scents. Myrrh, coconut and sandalwood, with a touch of lemon and neroli.
Why? Why is that scent…sorry, mixture of scents…so poignant for you?
It’s what I imagine Heaven smells like.
Do you have any secrets?
Will you tell me what they are?
Well, that depends on what you’re willing to do in order to hear them. I’m not a man to share my soul lightly and I’d expect an equal exchange. Are you willing to spill your soul?
Ah, the interview is all about you, Mr Iblis, so we’ll skip to the next question, I think. What’s your favourite colour?
I’m sorry. You’re dressed entirely in black. Your shoes, pants, shirt, tie, jacket – all black. Yet your favourite colour is white. Can you tell me why?
White’s the colour of purity and angels. It’s the colour of infinite possibility, innocence and a virgin slate. With the right stimulus, white can become any colour under the sun – including black.
What makes you laugh out loud?
Someone who thinks she can resist me. Some think they can, but it isn’t long before they submit to me. I’m irresistible, you see.
What’s on your bedside table right now?
Let’s see…today’s Monday and the cleaner isn’t due until Friday. I think there are six sets of underwear, mostly lace but one of the girls had this studded leather number. Maybe seven, I’m not sure. A bedside lamp and an alarm clock. A couple of sets of handcuffs and the keys. Pretty standard after a quiet weekend, really.
I’m sorry – you keep a collection of women’s underwear on your bedside table? Are they trophies, or is that where your partner likes to keep her underwear? Or do you wear it yourself?
It’s just where it lands when I’m busy. Most girls want me to keep their underwear to remember them by. My cleaner told me there are phone numbers written on some of them. I don’t know. She’ll clean them all up on Friday and next weekend’s girls will start a new collection.
Why, would you like to see me in women’s underwear? I can absolutely rock a corset, if that’s what you’re thinking. But you’d have to make it worth my while…
If you were doing your own spring cleaning – ah, not your cleaner, but you – what would be the most difficult thing for you to throw out?
That’s easy. Any bottle of whisky with just one glass left in it. I couldn’t throw it out until it’s empty, but it might not be the right time to drink that particular one, either.
What is your greatest fear?
None of your damn business.
Okay. When and where were you the happiest?
That’s none of your damn business, either.
What impression do you make on people when they first meet you?
Most people find me irresistible from the beginning. I can’t help it – it’s just who I am.
How about after they’ve known you for a while?
Most want more of me by then, depending on how soon they give in to me. They also know they’ll have to offer something pretty valuable in return to get it, though.
What do you like best about yourself?
What’s not to like? I’m the devilishly hot CEO of the HELL Corporation. Women swoon for me and men…they tend to do the same, which can get quite awkward, sometimes.
What do you want most out of life?
Anything I can get. I have particular tastes, but I want the most. That’s all.
But what do you really want?
World domination sounds good. I’ll take that and any perks that come with it.
Say you’re using that new office temp for something…what would it be?
You mean Melody Angel? That one? She’s one of my staff – it could be anything. But what I’d really like is for her to rip off that tight little skirt, open her shirt and let those perfect breasts spill out, so I can bend her over the desk and have my way with her. Several times over a long, hard afternoon. Then we’ll see how white her shirt is…
Have you ever heard of sexual harassment?
Sexual harassment? Ha, no!
It’s when someone makes unwanted sexual advances in the workplace.
Oh, I know what you’re referring to. But it’s not something that happens in my office. When I make an offer, it’s always gratefully accepted. Eventually. Never unwanted.
So what do you think Melody is using you for?
Ha. Hahahaha…Melody Angel? Using me? That girl was wearing innocence like a cloud of her delectable perfume. She wouldn’t know how to use someone with my power. Oh, I can do plenty for her – perhaps that’s what she wants. My favour.
How do you feel about that?
It’s what everyone wants from me. Favours, for me to use the wealth and power I have to help them. Provided I get my money’s worth from them in return, who cares? It’s business.
Really? You don’t think it would be personal for her?
Oh, her payment to me is likely to be very personal, but it’s still a business arrangement. I never take anything that isn’t offered, though I can be quite persuasive when I do want something.
Even though we hope she’ll never do it, for now just pretend it could happen: What’s the worst thing Melody could do to you?
It’s not the bad things she could do to me – it’s all the bad things I want to do to her. And with her. And I suspect she’s longing to do all sorts of things to me. Why else would she be at the HELL Corporation?
Why would that be so bad?
Did I say it would be? That sweet girl could become an absolute star in the bedroom if she’s willing. Or on my desk, if she’s a quick learner.
Why would you deserve it?
I’m Luce Iblis, the sexy CEO of the HELL Corporation. No one’s more deserving than I am when it comes to sexy women.
What’s the worst thing you could do to Melody?
I could steal her mind, body and soul, corrupting her to Hell for all eternity. Hahaha, or I could offer her a permanent job in my company.
Why would she deserve it?
If her performance in the office exceeded my expectations, I might offer such a deal to her. I might not, too. It depends if she has what it takes to make me happy.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I wouldn’t know.
All right. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
That’s none of your business.
What is your greatest regret?
Agreeing to do this interview. I have a stack of reports on my desk to approve for release, including Melody’s first one. I’m looking forward to showing her the standard of work I expect from her. Are we done here?
Yes, I think we are. Thank you for an interesting insight into your unique character, Mr Iblis.